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  1. You’ve used your sore hip or knee to get out of an event that you simply didn’t want to go to…and everyone believed you.
  2. You’d give up bacon, the world’s sandiest beaches, reruns of your favorite TV show AND your first born child to feel no joint pain.
  3. You’ve googled “home elevator”.
  4. You and your arthritic joint have gone through a full grieving cycle together. First it was disbelief, followed by sadness, then anger and finally, it’s time to move forward.
  5. When you see someone jumping up and down on TV you don’t envy their celebrity. You envy their knees or hips.
  6. You’ve been using a cane for so long, that you’re debating getting a cool one—think populous wood, brass snake head or glow in the dark.
  7. You think you like an actor or rock star but once you find out they’ve had a joint replacement they can do no wrong. “There was always something about that Lionel Richie…”
  8. You understand the purpose of “tear-away” pants in a way you never thought possible.
  9. When asked what you’d like for Christmas or a Birthday, you’ve responded “a new hip” or “a new knee” and meant it wholeheartedly.
  10. You’ve thought about selling your two story house for a bungalow. If you’re already living in a one-floor place, you’ve cursed every last stair there is.
  11. When you think “joint” the first thing that comes to mind isn’t the type you smoke.
  12. You’re in with the slang: “Hippy” is another name for someone who’s had a hip replacement and “Knee-andterthal” is reserved for fellow knee replacement people. Okay, fine…we made “knee-anderthal” up.
  13. Getting in and out of the tub unassisted is as ludicrous as seeing Ludicrous in concert.
  14. There is no shoehorn long enough that could make putting on sneakers comfortable.
  15. Like a fine piece of choreographed dance, you mentally break down each step involved in getting on and off the toilet seat before heading to the bathroom.
  16. You’re knee or hip predicts the weather better than your local meteorologist.
  17. You’ve envied a baby.
  18. Your most luxurious daydream stars you out for a pain-free walk. Gone are the days of fantasizing about abundant wealth, visiting a dream destination or being gifted your favorite classic car in its best year.
  19. The thought of barreling head-first down a slip n’ slide makes you physically shudder. Hey, did you just shudder on me?

Preparing for a hip replacement or knee replacement surgery? Subscribe to the PeerWell Blog and PreHab your way to a more successful joint replacement and a faster recovery. Recovery begins before surgery.

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